Susie Neevel was born the princess of a far eastern country.  It was an uneventful young life, and she grew restless living in the shadow of her older brother, the prince and a virtuoso cellist.  (Maybe you've heard of him. Yo Yo Ma.  He was going to be the king but decided to go into music instead.  Susie's actual birth name was Yo Ma Ma.)  For adventure, she used to dress up like a commoner and mingle with the crowds at the seaside markets.  It was during one of these excursions that she was kidnapped by pirates.
     At first it seemed a grand adventure, but life on a pirate ship wos really pretty unglamorous.  She was forced to entertain the captain of the pirate ship by playing her cello after dinner.  As day drifted into endless day, Susie played her cello and looked out over the sea, dreaming of a rescuer. It wasn't that she was treated badly, it was the tedium.  If she had to hear that joke about the pirates' favorite letter* one more time...  Plus, the crew really needed a bath.
     Enter the dashing Jeff Neevel, swashbuckling hero of the seven seas.  On a mission for the king, Jeff led a crew of seasoned soldier sailors to put an end to piracy once and for all.  They set a clever trap for Susie's captors, and a fierce battle ensued.  Jeff's crew crossed swords and fired cannons and buckled swashes like the heroes they were, but the pirate crew was just a little better at crossing and firing and buckling swashes.  The cause seemd lost.
     Distraught, Susie began to play and the music touched the ears and hearts of Jeff and his crew.  Through the smoke, their eyes met (Good lord, who writes this stuff?) and he fought with renewed vigor.  As his crew fell on every side, Jeff single handedly fought the pirates to the last man, and he and Susie sailed into the sunset.
    But it was just the beginning.  Jeff vowed to lead a peaceful life, Susie took his name, and they built a hut of palm fronds on a secluded island paradise (of course) where he sews sails and she sells sea shells by the sea shore.  (Now YOU say it.)  He built a guitar out of materials on hand and they resolved to spend their days playing duets in their new home. 
     Soon they made friends.  Among the island creatures was a mischievous monkey who took a particular interest in them.  He became their sidekick and faithful companion.  They adopted the adorable creature, taught him to keep time on a pair of coconuts when they weren't pulling him by the tail out of the refrigerator, and named him Jonathan ("our own little Jamaican Jerk".)
     The three made beautiful music together and were content until the wind and currents brought them a homemade raft with tattered sails carrying a strange, unkempt man who called himself Driftwood Dan.  Dan set up housekeeping like the unwanted visitor he was and, inspired by the music of the other three, created a rough musical intrument from one of the barrels that kept the raft afloat.
     Now, we sure as heck aren't leaving our island paradise to come to the frozen tundra where you live, so we invite you to join us today in our palm frond hut.  The music is gentle here, and so are the people.  Leave your shoes on the beach, and don't slurp your mango too loud.

*It's Arrrrrrrrr.